Dear U.S. Media

I remember thinking, so many times, during the Bush years, how piss-poor of a job you were doing asking anything approaching relevant questions. Oh, sure, there are occasional flashes of actual journalism, but mostly you guys seem to be parroting whatever crazy issues either campaign tells you is the issue of the day.

It's sad that I thought we might have a national debate about healthcare, gas prices, the economy, y'know, stuff that matters, but instead we've got the nth story about how Obama's a flip-flopper, McCain's a straight talker, etc. Instead, it's almost exactly like the coverage we got of Kerry and Bush.

The issues are lost, and the ones that are being covered (like the Iraq War) are being covered lazily. The national debate is retarded, and I blame you.

Do your damn jobs. Stop taking sides... most of you seem to be pulling for McCain, but even those of you pulling for Obama... stop it. You are journalists. Your side is supposed to be the truth, borne out by investigation and research and analysis, rather than whatever shit we can make up in our own heads via our own biases and what the political spin doctors are telling us.

It's a sad state of affairs that the most balanced, revelatory coverage of politics continues to come from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, which are *spoofing* you guys.

We're already practically down a branch of government thanks to the hackery that this Executive Branch has done to the Legislative and Judicial, could we maybe have our Fourth Estate back before it's too late?

Remember post-Katrina, when you all got a glimpse of the truly horrible results of the Bush Administration's crony-ism and corruption? Many of you found your balls again at that point, and I dared to hope that might last, but within a month, you were all back to the same lazy, weak-minded partisan bullshit.

If you're wondering why people now say journalist with the same disdain they reserve for the word politician, it's because you guys have become too much like the political hacks. You're supposed to be better than that. Get to it.