Hold On... It's Gonna Get Bumpier From Here

I took the Disney/Marvel news in stride. It was a shocker, sure, but as a fan of comics, and a retailer of comics, I truly believed (and still do) that we're more likely to see positive ramifications rather than negative in the direct market, and any changes we do see probably won't roll downhill to us for at least two years.

I would have had the same reaction to Warner Brothers restructuring DC Comics. It's all corporate BS, about where the money goes, and I don't have enough money to invest in a decent HDTV, much less a giant conglomerate that makes dog food, missile guidance chips and comic books. So what do I care where the money's going?

But the announcement that gave me pause, that gave me that "oh shit" reaction everybody else had when they decided that a Disney-fied Marvel was gonna end their MAX line tomorrow and put Mickey Mouse in the Avengers, was the announcement that Paul Levitz was stepping down as President of DC Comics.

Others, notably Kurt Busiek and Brian Hibbs, have covered what exactly Paul Levitz has done for comics in the last three decades or so. Some (some might call them judgmental, sanctimonious assholes, but not me, I'm a diplomatic kinda guy) have taken this as a chance to get the knives out and vent anger at Levitz over perceived failures. Never mind that many of them are not even remotely his failures, and most of the failures Levitz had were being over-cautious, something that our always-on-the-brink-of-collapse industry could probably use a little more of, rather than less.

But the point is this: Paul Levitz is the best friend the direct market had at DC, with only Bob Wayne even remotely in the running. (And hopefully Bob will stay where he is, because Lord knows we're gonna need the advocates with the new status quo).

Disney buying Marvel? Eh. Time Warner restructuring DC to maximize movie/videogame/Slurpee synergy with its comics characters? Whatever. Motion comics? Seriously, have you seen those? They're about as much of a threat to comics as pogs were. The Kindle? Online comics shops? iTunes for comics? All manageable, worth keeping an eye on, but nothing that seems likely to utterly shake the direct market and the way comics are currently delivered.

Paul Levitz no longer at the head of DC?

Well honestly, that just scares the shit out of me.

Good Enough... Isn't

I should preface this by saying that I didn't go to see Transformers 2. I saw Transformers in the theater, and I've seen enough Michael Bay to know what I was in for, and I opted out. This summer, I have opted out of "It looks shitty, but I loved it as a kid, so I'll go in hopeful" movies. I didn't see Terminator Salvation. I didn't see Transformers 2. I'm not going to see G.I. Joe. But I feel like I've seen enough shitty Hollywood blockbusters to talk in generalities here.

There seems to be some backlash building up to the overwhelmingly negative reviews of Transformers 2. Many fans, including folks whose work I respect, are writing text pieces that essentially say (sometime using this exact wording) that "Not everything is Shakespeare, this is just a fun movie about aliens turning into cars and planes." What they're saying is that no, it's not a great movie, but it's a good enough.

And hey, that's fine. You want an "OK" movie with lots of explosions, borderline sexism and racism, Michael Bay is *definitely* your guy.

But this isn't an "art movie" vs. "commercial movie" thing here. Let's not pretend it is. It's about intelligent escapism vs. dumbed-down escapism. Die Hard is an escapist movie. Terminator 2 is an escapist movie. Wrath of Khan is an escapist movie. Aliens is an escapist movie. All of these have as their number one priority to give the audience a big, loud thriller. You know what else they have?

Decent dialogue, a plot that makes sense, isn't needlessly complicated and full of ridiculous holes and actors who can do more than look pretty in skimpy clothes or scream "No no no no no" over and over again to express their dismay.

Enjoying Transformers 2 is fine, everybody's welcome to their bad movies. Hell, I own Lethal Weapon IV and Armageddon on DVD, I can't really throw stones here. But seeing Transformers 2 held up as the focus of some kind of "get the critics" crusade disturbs me even more than seeing Transformers 2 making so much money that Bay will probably get to do Transformers 3.

*shudder*

Because I Am, Apparently, Stupid Enough to Argue With Neil Gaiman

Not really. Just Internet argue, and just sort of Devil's Advocate, because I get what he's saying, and honestly Gaiman doesn't read my blog and why would he care about my opinion anyway, but I've seen a lot of this kind of thing coming from authors in response to some of the crazier fans and... well, I should probably end this run-on sentence and start with what the hell I'm talking about.

Gaiman has a much-linked article on his blog called "Entitlement Issues" which addresses the notion of fans feeling like writers owe them the next book in their series in a timely fashion, or indeed that writers owe them anything, with the pithy quote "George R.R. Martin is not your bitch."

And he's absolutely right. 100%. Writers are people, their job is a tricky one, and if it ain't there, it ain't there. If you're bitching because Martin went on a week-long vacation instead of slaving away on the next Ice and Fire book, get a grip.

However... Gaiman makes a few points that I really disagree with. Here's the key one, and it's the one he closes with: "George R. R. Martin is not working for you."

Well, uh... yeah. He kinda is. I mean, no, I don't pay him directly, but I buy his books, which makes the publishers think, "Hey, we should give this guy more money for more books!" Now, I'm not his boss, I can't set his hours, etc., but if the message of the consumers is "We would like to read more of your epic fantasy series rather than this new story that has caught your writing fancy" than maybe, as a professional writer, he's better off seeing if that epic fantasy series is something he can write right now.

Because here's the thing: When you start a big epic series, especially one that is in large part predicated on "what happens next" and prophecy and other such dramatic elements that require later payoff for the setup to be as enjoyable, you are making a promise to your readers that you will finish it. And when you promise you'll deliver it more than once and fail to live up to that promise, it seems to me that rational readers are fair in saying, "Uh, does this mean that promise you made us at the beginning to tell us the end of the story might get reneged on too?"

There are plenty of great standalone novels. There are plenty of great novels in a series that are satisfying reads on their own, and if a next book comes, that's great but if it doesn't each book pretty much stands as a complete chapter.

The Song of Ice and Fire is not that series. It has been sold, from the outset, and written, from the outset, as one big story told in novel-sized chunks. Imagine if a four-year gap between seasons three and four of Lost... might it seem fair to gripe about that? There is reason to have legitimate concern, given the growing delay between books, that Martin has lost interest or worse, doesn't know how to wrap up the plot and character arcs he's built up. There is even reason, ghoulish though it might be, to worry that Martin might die before completing the series, given that writing books takes an awful long time in the best of circumstances and writers have, in the course of time, died with works unfinished.

Does this give fans the right to berate Martin if they see him in public having dinner with friends? No. Does it give them the right to badger him inecessantly online and start crazy petitions about not buying any other Martin work until he finishes Ice and Fire? Well, yeah, actually, although it does seem crazy and self-defeating.

But does it give fans the right to bitch about it, and have their concerns taken as valid, if only from their own personal point of view? To be disappointed in the lack of more stories that the author should be thrilled have connected so deeply with so many fans? Well, yeah. I think that's fair.

Authors want to write what they want to write, hey, that's cool. But fans want to vent, within reasonable limits, that their favorite author isn't writing their favorite book, and they feel a little pissed that they only have half the story with no end in sight? I think we can all be OK with that, too, right?

And if you don't want people asking for the next chapter in your epic story so that they can see how it all turns out, I can think of two easy ways to do that: 1) Write a bad epic story that nobody gives a shit about or 2) Don't start big epic series, write more self-contained novels.

You Are Not Allowed To Watch This Show

CBS announces Arranged Marriage reality show

You are not allowed to watch this show:

A) If you've ever been making that ridiculous argument that gay marriage somehow diminishes the institution of marriage

B) You did not watch Firefly, Pushing Daisies, Arrested Development and/or Cupid

C) You are not being paid or held at gunpoint in order to force you to do so

D) All of the Above

(Psst... the correct answer is D. If *this* doesn't degrade the institution of marriage, I'm afraid that the institution is completely un-tarnishable. If this succeeds and, worse, gets a second season, when so many great shows did not, it further weakens any remaining faith I have in television as a medium. And if you're not being paid or somehow forced to watch this, surely the shame of finding entertainment in the sad, pathetic spectacle of this show should keep folks away.)

I have to give credit where it's due, though... I didn't think CBS's reality division could disgust me more than they did by green-lighting Kid Nation. Kudos, scumbags!

Shrieking, Mocking Triumphant Laughter

Imagine Bill Hicks at his most manic, gleeful, "fuck you" laughter.

Some of you may recall me working myself into a bit of a froth over Bush's veto of the expansion of SCHIP, the child healthcare plan.

As annoying as that was, it also means I take special glee in this, from CNN:

House passes expansion of children's health program

See, Bush is on his way out, so he can't wave his magic veto wand at the bill again. Hell, he's so impotent at this point, he can't even fill up a press conference.

No, the bill that he (and other Republicans, including John McCain) shot down, the bill that provides expanded health care for American children? It's headed to President Obama's desk.

FOR HIM TO SIGN.

I hope it's the first in a long line of "Fuck Yous" that the Democrats have planned for Bush and his administration. Certainly the "Tomnibus" bill was a similar thing of beauty, as Harry Reid shows signs of a spine and cleverness that I was beginning to think the Democrats lacked, even when they're the majority party.

This Headline

GOP reaction divided over controversial Obama song

Pretty much says everything you need to say about the modern GOP, doesn't it?

To their credit, *most* of them are smart enough to distance themselves from this, but a couple are actually trying to defend it as "political satire."

Oh, and the song originated with Rush Limbaugh. Shocker.

Ouch.

In the spirit of the holiday, I will say that I do not currently wish for The Spirit to tank so badly that it ends the film career of Frank Miller and prevents him from ever touching Will Eisner's character or (God forbid) makes the awful Buck Rogers movie he wants to make.

But ask me again on Friday and I'll have a different answer. :)

At any rate, what I think hardly matters, because so far, the critics seem to be delivering the smackdown you might have expected from the terrible trailers for The Spirit we've been seeing.

Why I Hate Congress (Even The Democratic One)

Barney Frank offers up this little nugget for President-Elect Obama. You know, the guy who has been putting together his administration faster and more effectively than we've seen in decades? The guy who has put together a pretty amazing cabinet thus far, who is getting kudos from a majority of the public in polls pretty much whenever he announces something?

"He's going to have to be more assertive than he's been," House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank, D-Mass., told consumer advocates Thursday.

"At a time of great crisis with mortgage foreclosures and autos, he says we only have one president at a time," Frank said. "I'm afraid that overstates the number of presidents we have. He's got to remedy that situation."

Well, that's very glib, Congressman. But hey, isn't asking the guy not yet in power, who is trying to observe the Constitution, to "get more assertive" a bit hypocritical when you and your idiot cronies are the ones who gave Paulson a blank check to further fuck up the economy?

The speed with which the liberal blogosphere and the Democrats in Congress have turned on their new party leader, *before he's even in office*, is astounding. Are we *so* determined to put the Republicans back in office that we're going to undermine our leader a full month and a half before he's even sworn in? Even when pretty much every indicator is that he's on a pretty solid path?

Look, I get a little cautious needling and questioning around the edges. But there seems to be this huge panic that Obama isn't doing whatever they want him to do right this minute, even if he's *legally prevented from doing so.* I'm not a "My President, right or wrong" kind of guy. If Obama turns out not to be able to do this, then hey, yeah, call him on the carpet.

But at least let the guy get to standing up before you try to cut him off at the knees. We elected him to lead, let's see if he can lead, huh?

An Important Reminder

Orson Scott Card is still an enormous asshole.

A Few Thoughts on George R.R. Martin and Game of Thrones

Last night, I finished reading the second volume of the Song of Fire & Ice, A Clash of Kings. I loved it, as much as I enjoyed Game of Thrones a few months back. It's been awhile since I got drawn into a fantasy series, but Fire & Ice is fantastic. Now I've got two more books to read until I'm caught up, although I'm afraid to catch up, because the fifth book isn't planned for availability until April, and who knows how long I'll have to wait until six and seven get finished after that.

I've actually been a fan of Martin's since his work on the Wild Cards book series when I was younger. But Game of Thrones is even better, a really fully fleshed-out world with great characters and stronger moment-to-moment writing than most fantasy novels offer. So I was excited when it was announced that HBO had the option to adapt the seven novels into seven seasons of television, and today they announced that they've green-lighted the pilot. I am of course nervous about the series' chances, given the traditionally high cost of fantasy and HBO's history with shows like Deadwood and Rome, but I'm also super-excited to see what happens.

I'm also anxiously awaiting the late Green Ronin Fire & Ice role-playing game, and hoping it'll be out in the next couple of weeks.

But... the announcement of the HBO pilot got linkage everywhere, and Blog@Newsarama linked to Martin's blog, which I followed. And not only is the guy a great writer with at least two great series under his belt (one as co-writer/co-editor, one as sole creator), but he's also a big, outspoken Obama fan.

Unlike Orson Scott Card, another well-known author who, it should be remembered, is a homophobic douchebag.